On 9 January 2009, the cancer site of Cancerstory.com became dormant.
However, the web contents can still be read like a book without further update.
Healing Setback
- Means Test
- Are you ready to "take on" your doctor?
- Can you "fire" your doctor?
- Manage your expectations
- Lack of oncology nutritionists
- Nutrition Maze
- Extravagant claims
- Rare Cancers
- TCM - Controversy
- TCM - Book Review
- Reflection
- Magic Cure
- Man-made Rules
- It's about money
Understanding Cancer
- What is Cancer?
- Stage of Cancer
- Dictionary of Cancer Terms
- Tumour Marker
- Self Examination
- Symptoms of Various Cancer
- Healing & Curing
- Human Papilloma Virus
Cancer Challenge
Diagnosis
   - Cancer's Victim Experience
   - The 8 Overcoming Tools
   - Motivational Message
   - Counselling/Cancer Helpline
   - Financial Issues
   - Cancer Checklist
   - Living With Cancer
   - Free Transport/Financial Aid
Acceptance
   - Seek Second Opinion
   - Learn About Your Illness
Treatment
   - Conventional Treatment
   - Clinical Trials in Singapore
   - Complementary Treatment
   - Coping With Side Effects
   - Coping With Hair Loss
   - Sexuality and Cancer
   - Hospitals/Cancer Organisations
Surviving Cancer
   - Importance Of Support
   - Support Group
Hospice Care
   - Cancer's Victim Experience
   - Living Fully in the Face of Death
   - Types Of Hospice Care
   - Home Help Service
   - Directory Of Hospices
   - Pain Management
   - Advance Medical Directive Act
Special Corners
- Leukemia
- Kids' Corner
- Children with Special Needs
- Women's Corner
- Cancer Prevention Tips
- Products recalled by HSA
- Fundraising for cancer organizations
- Stroke
- Used Medical Appliances
- Will & Estate
- Water Cures, Drugs Kill
- Jurong Health Connect
- Mesothelioma
Art transforms into compassion
Acknowledgement


To learn about your loved one having cancer is a traumatic experience for most people. Sorrow comes to everyone but you cannot afford to grief over it at this crucial moment. You must brace up to provide support, care and love to help your loved one face the cancer challenge. It is going to be a very tough journey with many peaks and valleys ahead of you. You must tackle the following issues :

How to reveal the diagnosis to your loved one?
There is no right or wrong answer. It all depends on your perception of your loved one's attitude towards this dreadful news.

If you are emotionally disturbed and do not know how to cope with the diagnosis, you are advised to seek counselling.

Find paths to healing

You must be pro-active to learn all you can about the illness and help your loved one to select the most appropriate treatment option and cope with the side effects and discomfort from the treatments.

Learning about pain management is crucial. From my personal experience, most oncologists are not well-trained in pain management and hardly have time to conduct pain assessment given the limited consultation time (probably 10-15 minutes) allocated for each patient at the restructured hospitals/centre.

CancerStory.com provides useful links to local and overseas cancer hospitals and institutions in the United States, United Kingdom and China.

You should consider complementary treatment and obtain an understanding of healing.

You are encouraged to share and learn from others?cancer experience from Support Groups and CancerStory.com Stories & Poems Corner.

Managing conflicts over choice of treatments

Cancer creates stress for both the patients and their family members. When everyone's ideas and suggestions for treatments are in agreement, there is less frustration. However, if the suggestions include complementary and alternative treatments, there is usually greater disagreement over what course of action the patient should take.

Each family member wants the patient to "conquer" cancer, and acts with the best motives. However, all of them have different sets of information and attitudes. Everyone believes that his/her recommendation is the best. Bearing in mind that fighting against cancer is a tough challenge and there is no "magic" bullet, all family members must resolve the conflicts amicably and compromise with one another in order to arrive at a workable cancer plan for the patient.

Most importantly, the patient must have faith and feel comfortable about the choice of treatment.

Provide support and care

"The most important medicine is tender love and care." - Mother Teresa

However, many people overlook it due to work, personal and family commitments. There were instances when some elderly cancer patients poured out their miseries to my late mother and one of them even wept in my presence. I felt sorry for her plight but I could only encourage her to think positively. It is really a sad scene to see these elderly folks without the company of their children at the hospitals. Well this is a hard fact of life. How many people can afford to sacrifice their jobs to give full support to their parents?

Hopefully, the reading of 24 stories of Filial Devotion, will offer some insights. I extracted and summarized five selected stories for your reading pleasure.

"Of all codes and classics, filial piety comes first." - Quote from Chinese Proverb

If you believe in Buddhism, I had extracted the ten types of kindnesses bestowed by the mother on the child from Filial Piety Sutra.

Help your loved one to lead a quality life and cherish each day and lives to its fullest.
  • Show your love and concern for your loved one
  • Spend quality time with your loved one
  • Fulfil wishes of your loved one wherever possible
Help your loved one to die peacefully

If you are prepared to do so, our founder recommends that you read the booklet on Preparing for Death and Helping the Dying from a Buddhist Perspective at CancerStory Books Corner.

Coping with grief on the loss of your loved one

Living through grief is an experience that we do not fully understand and until we walk through it ourselves. It is tough and takes time to heal.

You may need support or counselling to help you overcome your grief. Pour out your sorrow to someone who can really help you and you will feel much better.

You could also overcome your grief by reading books on grief. I was given a little book "Living Through Grief" - from a Christian Perspective by a friend and found it quite helpful even though I am a free-thinker. From my standpoint, Grief is universal. With the kind permission of Lion Publishing Co. UK, I made an extract of it and you can read it from CancerStory Books Corner.

You may also seek help from Professional Counselling Services and Support Groups for Widows and Widowers.
Institute of Mental HealthTel : 63892200
Behavioural Medicine ClinicTel : 64353879
Fei Yue Family Service CentreTel : 65690381
St Andrew's Life StreamsTel : 63232902
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling Centre (Toa Payoh)Tel : 63531180
Care Corner WoodlandsTel : 63622481
WicareFax : 64632024
Turn adversity into strength

Death is a natural and inevitable part of Life. The sun rises and sets; the seasons come and go; beautiful flowers become withered and brown; people and other beings are born, live for some time, then die.

Our loved ones may have left us but their spirit, love and memory will linger eternally. We will continue to love and remember them, especially on their death anniversary. Certainly there are many ways of remembering them, one of these ways will be to carry on their spirit of caring and sharing and help the less fortunate.

Follow-up on your loved one's estate
If you need such information, please visit CancerStory Will/Estate Corner.


GENERAL DISCLAIMER
CancerStory.com only provides information and bears no responsibility for its contents.
It is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services.

The contents of this web site are not to be quoted or reproduced in any form without the permission of CancerStory.com
Copyright © June 2000 CancerStory.com All rights reserved.

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